Stranded

I’m sailing an infinite ocean with no direction; I’m seasick, constantly.

Sometimes I feel the only reprieve would be to capsize.

To allow the waves to engulf me.

Quick.

Easy.

And yet, I find myself continuing to fight the waves.

It seems there is no end in sight.

A constant struggle.

I am,

so afraid.

I feel so alone.

I find shore only to find myself on an island.

Uninhabited.

Barren.

Cold.

In the solitude I find comfort.

A disturbing kind.

I know I cannot stay here.

I will starve if I stay here.

Should I stay?

Or should I continue to traverse the immense seas ahead of me?

Out there is adventure.

Possibility.

But great fear.

Here?

Ashore?

A sense of safety.

But stagnation awaits.

I watch the thrashing waves from a distance.

I feel nauseous just watching them.

I have to set sail.

I have to find, the courage.

I guess I’ll stay a while,

until I find,

courage.

Until I know what it means to sail.